


Up close and personal

by imsuperoriginal



Series: Up close and personal [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, One-Sided Attraction, it will probably get steamy later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-07 02:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1114505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsuperoriginal/pseuds/imsuperoriginal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This work of fiction explores the non-sexual (but could totally get sexual) side of intimacy between the brothers, specifically personal body care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ouch

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to let you all know that it's my first time writing this pairing officially and would appreciate any constructive criticism you guys have, about anything. I'd love to hear what you guys think!!

It was the middle of the week and both Frigga and Odin were glad to have the palace all for themselves. They were spending time together, retelling stories of old, sharing kisses and holding each other. It’s not every day that Thor and Loki go on a trip with Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, leaving nothing but peace and quiet behind. Or so they thought.

The doors to the palace were thrown open and sudden chaos followed.

“Hurry! Take him to the healing chambers!” Thor commanded from farther back. 

Guards and servants alike were carrying a wounded Loki, and hauling the Warriors Three by their shoulders and waists. Thor and Sif were the only two capable of maintaining their own weight. It’s not everyday that the brothers are back from their trips with threatening injuries, but of course it’s not everyday they get attacked by a… by… whatever that thing was. It looked like a Bilgesnipe, but behaved differently. It was tactical and smart… but thanks to Thor, now it was dead.

“Thor, what about your injuries?” Sif asked as she got closer to him, the guards parting way for her. 

“Mine injuries can wait.” Thor got off easy compared to Loki. “Loki is gravely wounded and needs assistance at once.” His voice was getting heavier by the second, and suddenly his vision blurred and his head felt lighter. Well, lighter than usual. He was sure Loki would have laughed at that.

* * *

Thor woke up feeling fresh and rested, clothed in a regular tunic and breeches. It took him a minute to sit up and notice where he was, and only a second after that to remember what had happened. “Loki…”

“DO. NOT. TOUCH ME.” Came a knowing voice, and so Thor got up with a sigh and made his way to where the shouting was coming from. “I am a prince of Asgard! Do not go lightly touching me as if you can!” 

Thor found the chamber where Loki was being held easily enough. Loki was sitting up, which meant that his wounds weren’t that serious anymore, for the most part at least. And he was bickering with a servant, which is never unusual.

“I apologize, sire.” The servant said, holding onto a wet cloth. “But seeing as you’re unable to do much in your state, I am here t-“

“Irrelevant!" Loki shouted "Had I not been awake, and had you been an assassin, you would have gotten away with it—“

“Loki!” Thor yelled as he entered the room, startling both Loki and the servant. “There is no need for such harshness. He is here to help, not receive your verbal abuse.”

Loki glared and lowly growled at Thor. “He was far too close! He should know better and ask before going and invading my space!” 

“Enough, Loki.” Thor told the servant he was excused of his duties and waited until he left. “Enough with the dramatics, Loki. You cannot go and say as you like to those trying to help you, brother. You will end up without anyone there to offer a hand if you continue like this.”

“I do not need their help. Whatever the trouble, I can get myself out of it.” Loki said, holding his nose high and facing away from Thor.

“You could not do so the day before.” Thor reminded him.

Loki held his breath for half a second and did everything in his power to hold back the sneer that was threatening to show. It’s true. Had it not been for Thor and Sif, and the Warriors Three mind you, Loki might not be here right now.

As per usual this time of year, the boys had gone on a hunting trip with their friends to the highlands. What was not usual was the beast that bested Loki yesterday. If Thor hadn’t decided to check up on him…

“A mistake that will not happen again.” Loki stated. 

Thor rolled his eyes at the comment. “Well, I am glad that you have recovered, brother.” He said as he sat on a nearby settee and made himself comfortable. “How fare you?” He said as he eyed his brother. 

Loki had arrived with gashes, cuts and bruises painting his entire body, but he looked as healthy as when they left for the trip. So why was he still in bed, in the infirmary?

Loki looked outside the huge windows and let out a sigh. “Not as well as I had hoped.” He sneered as he looked at his hands, but his sneer turned to worry as he kept on staring at them. They suffered immense damage while battling whatever beast had attacked him. Whatever did attack him wasn’t any ordinary beast either. It was smart and targeted Loki’s weak points, and knew that his hands were the cause of the magicks hurting it.

"What of the beast that attacked me?"

Thor took a second to remember the battle and a second more to answer. "It is dead. I have slain it." Better not to dwell in the past. "Why are you still in bed? You have recovered, yes?"

Loki swallowed and glanced at Thor. "For the most part, but not really."

“You seem well enough.” Thor noted.

“I am not.” Loki grimaced at his hands and then looked over with worry in his eyes at Thor. “I… cannot use my hands.”


	2. Help me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Loki can't use his hands, which is a bummer for everyone, believe it or not.

“You… cannot use?” Thor asked rather skeptically and confused. He sat upright to try and get a better view.

“My hands.” Loki said as he lifted both hands in view, revealing two abused and heavily bruised hands. “They’ve suffered quite the damage and… are healing slowly.” Loki explained as he tried to move them as little as possible while he showed Thor. The serum against pain was wearing off, which meant the throbbing sensation would only get worse from now on. It was annoying, really, knowing your only source of protection and defense was unavailable at the moment.

Thor only just noticed the state of Loki’s hands. They were badly bruised and cut, though the cuts were fading with every passing minute. The rest of Loki’s body was better, though not entirely healed yet. Had his hands been in better condition, he probably could go back to their trip as if nothing had happened. How long before they can go hunting again?

"They are healing." Thor stated.

"Yes." Loki answered, as if there were anything else he could answer.

"So you will get better. How long?" Thor placed his elbows on his knees and brought his hands together in concentration.

Loki was wary now, as he always is, but only because Thor looked like he might be thinking. And they all know that never goes well. He felt the sudden itch to lie and tell him that he would never actually recover fully. Blame him for getting there too late and not saving his baby brother on time. Tell him how it was his fault he could never be a magicks user now. Thor was ever the sentimentalist.

But... as much fun as that would be, the pain was getting on Loki's nerve, and he could always devise another lie next time.

"A few days at most, maybe a week."

“And… you cannot heal them yourself?” Thor wondered out loud.

“Not really. I use my hands to heal myself, and they are unable to perform my magicks, so no.” Loki struggled to keep his face blank as the pain started to worsen.

“What about a potion for the pain?"

“There is one potion that could help…”

Thor beamed at the opportunity.

“Unfortunately, the ingredients are lethal if mixed incorrectly. And only I know the correct amount for myself… I think.”

Thor sat back and slumped on his seat, apparently accepting defeat. Loki just breathed in and out slowly, trying to ease the pain and slow the throbbing if possible. He was concentrating on his own breathing when Thor spoke.

“So… you must let the servants help you wash and feed you until your hands get better.” Thor commented.

“Ugh. I’d rather rot.” Loki hissed under his breath.

But Thor wasn’t completely wrong. How was he to feed himself if he couldn’t even hold utensils, or drink if he couldn’t hold a glass, or bathe if he couldn’t scrub himself? He probably couldn't undress himself either, or brush his hair, or go relief himself... Oh, Norns.

Thor splayed in the settee and looked at the ceiling as he tried to think on how to help his brother.

This might be a tad more difficult than he’d thought. Loki is wary of physical contact, not just with strangers but with family members as well. He's one to keep to himself on all aspects and shares very little about himself. And there were very few people he trusted, if any. So he had to choose someone who he wouldn’t mind getting up close and personal with. And someone with finesse, because he’s hurt and all, and Thor knows he’s not the most delicate of people.

“How annoying.” Loki whined to himself.

But to think, having someone see him so vulnerable and pathetic. Unable to take care of himself. Weak. No, it couldn’t just be anyone he trusted. Any of the Warriors Three were out, considering how’d they just mock him and be on their way. Sif is also out of the equation, because she’d never let him live this down. As much as she loved him, Loki doesn’t think Frigga is up to the challenge of taking care of his already grown son. And there is no way in Hel he is asking Odin for any type of help. So that leaves Thor, but it would be so awkward to have his brother help him on such personal matters. Maybe one of those servants who fear him so… But what if they use the information against him.

Thor was looking behind himself and wondering if supper had been served, considering his hunger and rumbling tummy, already given up on the task at hand. If and when Loki decided he would need someone to help him, then Thor would be glad to help him get said person.

 _‘Maybe it won’t be that difficult if I do it by myself’_ He thought to himself. He went to play with his own hands as usual and jumped at the sudden pain. “Ah!! Damn!” He grunted, trying to keep his hands as still as possible. It was only a small brush of his hands and it hurt to this degree?  
  
“What is it, brother?!” Thor shot up from the settee, planting himself next to Loki’s bed.

“It’s nothing!” Loki grunted, forcing himself to breathe a steady pace. As much as he wanted to deny it, he definitely couldn’t do this by himself. “But… I might need you to help me.”


	3. Feed me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Loki can't feed himself, which means Thor has to do it? This could get messy.

“So, why are you still here?” Sif asked for the fifth time. “You seem to be healed up just fine! How lazy are you, really?” She chided him, smirking and raising an eyebrow as the servant bandaged his hands. It took Thor half an hour just to coax Loki into letting the servant bandage his hands, and another half hour for Loki to finally give in.

“Ha ha, funny.” He answered flatly. “And as I’ve already told you, it is because of my hands.” He said as he looked at them.

“But they don’t seem so bad, just bruised.” Sif said as she looked at his bandaged hands.

“Yes, badly bruised. They’re also delicate because of the seidr running through them. And because they are hands, they take a while more to heal.” Loki added.

“How so?” Asked Thor as he walked into the room again. He had left for something, Loki wasn’t sure what or just didn’t hear when told.

“Hmm, place the palms of your hands on your ears and tell me what you hear.” Loki told Sif. She just looked at him with a confused expression. “Just do it.” He commanded.

Sif did as told, but heard nothing. “I do not hear anything.”

“That’s not true, is it? What if I told you that you could hear lava flowing at your feet?” Loki asked with a smirk.

Sif placed her hands on her ears again and looked over at Loki. “I can hear it, like when we stood at the foot of that volcano in Muspelheim.” Out of curiosity, Thor placed his hands on his ears as well. “Is it trickery?” She asked.

“’Tis not. See, the muscles in your hands are never truly at rest and are constantly moving, and that is what you are hearing. It is also the reason why they take longer to heal. It’s difficult for something that’s constantly moving to stop and heal.” Loki explained in the most pretentious tone Sif has ever heard. She almost gagged out loud at his tone.

“So what are you going to do? Without your hands, you are basically use—“

“Quiet, you!” Loki spat at her, anger obvious in his voice. “And leave me be! I am tired.”

Sif frowned at him but did as told. She knew Loki was difficult and when not to cross him. “I hope my prince feels better in the morning.” She said and left.

Loki relaxed and let out a long sigh, his gaze falling to his hands again.

“How did you know that?” Thor asked as he sat upright on the settee. “I have placed my hands on my ears countless times, but only now do I notice the sound they make.” He looked at his hands and then back at Loki.

“I just see the things others overlook.” Loki glanced at Thor and then at his hands.

Thor had been worried, because although he felt honored to be trusted by Loki enough to help him during this time, he isn’t the most delicate of creatures. It’s not that he was clumsy or uncoordinated, just… not delicate.

Where Loki was smooth, Thor was rough. Where Loki glided, Thor avalanched. And where Loki was delicate, Thor was robust. They were opposites, but they had always complimented each other. And they knew this.

“Er, Loki…” Thor started, so Loki focused on him now, and that made Thor even more nervous. “I… um.”

“Yes?” Loki asked in a rather impatient tone.

“It’s just, I’m happy that you thought of me as someone that could help you and all, but… I-I’m not sure I’m… the right person for this.” Thor stumbled on his words, the nerves betraying him.

Loki took in a small breath, which told Thor more than enough that his message was not getting across as needed.

“S-See, I’m not what you would call “ _gentle_ ” in these types of situations… so I worry that I… might be less help a-and more trouble, and…” Thor stuttered here and there.

Loki was silent for half a minute, apparently thinking through what Thor just said, which made him even more nervous. “I wouldn’t have asked you without knowing all the possible outcomes beforehand.”

“I see…” Was all Thor was capable to say at the moment.

“Thor, I know your tact lies elsewhere, but even so you’re the safest bet I can have right now. And you have enough of my trust to do the task set before you.” Loki said, taking Thor by surprise with his kind words. “Besides, I will make sure your blunt, clumsy self doesn’t injure me anymore than I already am.”

Well, almost kind.

A servant had come into the room after that with two plates stacked high with food. And the smell drove Loki crazy, who was suddenly very aware of how hungry he was. So Thor had gone out to eat? At least he brought food back, so maybe he wasn’t such an insensitive brute.

Thor whispered something at the servant who then left them alone.

“I hope you are hungry!” He merrily said as he picked up one of the plates and sat on the bed with Loki. Loki’s mouth watered at the selection of food; there were meats covered with sauces, cheeses, bread, steamed vegetables, and the fruits Loki loved so much. His stomach growled on instinct, which made Thor laugh heartily. “I believe that answers my question!”

“Just hurry up and feed me! I fear I will faint soon.” Loki’s stomach growled once more.

“What would you like to eat first? We have those meats you so like, some cheeses, bread—“

“The meat first.” Loki answered rapidly, not wanting to wait a second more.

“Very well.” Thor answered rather unsure.

It’s not like Thor hadn’t taken care of a sick friend before, or hadn’t fed someone, because he has. But the pressure of accidentally angering Loki was lingering somewhere in his mind.

He took a deep breath and decided to just deal with the problem.

Thor grabbed the fork and took a few pieces of meat, dipped it in some of the sauce on the plate, and directed the food towards Loki’s mouth. Loki swallowed, opened his mouth and took the meat in his mouth, letting out a small moan. Oh, the flavors bursting all over his mouth and his glands going on overdrive, it was almost too much. He was so ravenous that he only chewed a few times and swallowed it all down.

“Oh, Norns, that was good.” He commented, still tasting the lingering flavor of meat on his tongue.

Thor was ready with the next bite, holding out the fork with his other hand underneath the food, so as to catch anything that may fall. This time, Loki savored every bite. He closed his mouth around the bite in a slower motion and made sure to taste everything, chewing slowly. They continued on until all the meat was finished, and moved onto the cheese.

Loki only took three bites and told Thor to continue on. The vegetables were delectable, and the bread was soft and sublime, though a bit awkward to eat. Thor just held out the entire loaf out for Loki to bite into, but it was buttered and toasted to perfection, so Loki didn’t bother. Last, but definitely not least, were the fruits Loki loved: grapes. Thor wondered if maybe just throwing them into Loki’s mouth would suffice, but he believed that Loki would object to having him try and catch them.

Before they started with the grapes, the servant arrived with two goblets filled with wine. He set them on the small table next to Loki’s bed and was excused to leave by Thor.

“Would you like to drink now or after?” Thor asked.

Loki thought on it, because he desperately wanted to eat his grapes and thought that the wine might change their taste, but he was also parched and in need of a drink.

“I’ll drink now.”

This might be tricky. Thor had been handling solids, but now came the time for something liquid, which could spill. He took the goblet in both hands and neared it to Loki’s mouth. Softly, Loki pressed his lips to the goblet and took a small sip. He very carefully hovered his hands over Thor’s, so as to show him how much he could tilt it and not spill any. He took a few big mouthfuls and then hummed to Thor.

Thor took away the goblet carefully and placed it on the table. When he looked back at Loki he noticed a drop of wine making its way from Loki’s lips to his chin. He quickly took a napkin and faced Loki.

“It spilled. I’ll get it.” Thor said as he placed the napkin to Loki’s chin and wiped the wine away. He was suddenly very aware of how pink his brother’s lips are and the nice contrast it has to his too white skin.

“Ahem. I’m sure I’m clean by now.” Loki said, rather annoyed. He wanted to finish his food after all.

“R-Right! Sorry!” Thor’s heart skipped a beat as he replied and went to get the grapes.

The grapes were rather easy but also sort of awkward at times. Thor held them out and Loki would come up and take them between his teeth, but sometimes he overestimated distances and ended up lightly biting Thor’s fingertips.

After Loki finished all the grapes, he sat back and let out a contented breath. He seemed calm and at peace with the universe. Thor didn’t know it, but he was witnessing something that only Frigga had seen once or twice in her lifetime, which is a happy Loki. A good meal did wonders for Loki’s mood.

Thor cleared away Loki’s plates from his bed and sat on the settee to eat his meal.

“You’re eating again?” Loki asked calmly.

“I’m not. I haven’t eaten yet.” Thor said rather taken aback.

“Oh, I thought when you left you had gone to eat. I apologize, brother.”

"It... is fine." Thor was left dumbfounded at the sudden kindness, so he just started eating.


	4. Undress me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the brothers are platonically in love with each other. A one-sided love from both participants.

Loki was let out of the infirmary wearing a green tunic, some rather loose pants, and the dirty boots he arrived to the castle in.  In the haste of getting him on the infirmary bed and beginning the healing process, the healers were able to remove most of his armor away and leave him in light clothing.  But that was while he was still unconscious and unable to fight back.

 

And although he cannot fight back entirely, he is very much conscious and knows what is happening.

 

“Get off me, Thor!  I can walk just fine!” Loki said, shaking his entire body to shoo Thor from his personal space.

 

“I’m sorry, brother.  I just worry, is all.” Thor said as he scooted a few steps to the side, leaving Loki some breathing air.

 

They were making their way to Thor’s chambers, only because Loki doesn’t trust anyone enough to let them into his own chambers while he is incapable of defending himself.  He told Thor that it was because it would make it easier on everyone involved, but Thor knows better. Had the tables been turned though, Loki was sure they would still end up in Thor’s room.

 

Thor sighed and thought about the situation.  It’s no secret to himself that he is somewhat attracted to Loki, no matter how sick that might be.  But he is, and although he respects Loki enough to draw the line between brother and love interest, it is still a difficult situation to be put in.  He’s Loki’s caretaker for the time being, which means he has to feed, bathe, and clothe him until Loki feels capable of doing it himself.  It’s not a hard job; he’s seen his brother nude before, but he’s never had to thoroughly bathe him.  At most he’s washed his back when they were still children.  And he’s never had to fully undress him or dress him, for that matter. 

 

Thor steals a glance at Loki and wonders what’s going on in that pretty little head of his at the moment.

 

“When we get to your chambers, undress me.” Loki said out of the blue.

 

Thor was surprised at the comment, specifically because anyone could hear them in the hallways.  Thor looked around to make sure they were not being heard or looked at, a rosy color tinting his cheeks.  He was about to say something back when Loki continued talking.

 

“I wish to bathe out of this horrible musk and grime as soon as possible.  So ready the bath when we get there, too.” Loki continued walking with determination and so Thor followed, hiding his worries and trying to forget them.

 

As far as he knows, his secret is safely buried in his own heart and mind. 

 

* * *

 

When they got to Thor’s chamber, Thor felt like his heart would give at any moment.  It was racing nonstop and didn’t seem like it would slow any moment soon.  Loki was taking a tour of Thor’s rooms, boots already off, eyeing books and studying whatever it is Loki studies in other people’s chambers.  Thor breathed in a lungful of air to calm himself and let out a long, but quiet sigh. 

 

“I’ll ready the bath first.” Thor said, trying to busy himself with something that wasn’t thinking.

 

“Aye.” Loki said from the other side of the room, apparently eyeing the spine of a small book.

 

As Thor went to ready the bath, Loki tried to calm himself down.  He took a few quick breaths and paced around the room.

 

It would be fine!  Thor is his brother, he’s only going to help him undress and bathe and there was nothing else to it.  They’ve seen each other in the nude before, so it’s not like he’ll be surprised.  And Thor will definitely skip washing anything Loki opposes to, so all he has to do is say so. 

 

The problem is Loki doesn’t want to object.  Oh, how he wants those hands all over him, to feel Thor’s fingers caressing his every curve and drawing a path throughout his body, his strong arms embracing his form tightly but gently, to feel all those muscles underneath Loki’s own hands—

 

Right, he couldn’t daydream of his fantasies while Thor was just one room over.  And even if Thor did do any of the things Loki just thought, Loki couldn’t do much on account of his hands.  Blasted things were taking too long to heal.  Loki knew it was a bad idea to leave the infirmary so quickly and with his hands still in such a debilitated state.  He ran a bigger risk of damaging them even further.

 

Loki was deep in thought when he felt someone tugging at the hem of his tunic.

 

“Come, brother, lift your arms.” Thor was grabbing the hem of Loki’s shirt with both of his hands, lifting it slowly and revealing a white smooth back.  He could only wait to see what the front of his torso looked like.

 

“You could have warned me.” Loki retorted coolly. 

 

Thor helped Loki take off his tunic, thought they both stopped when it came to the sleeves.  Thor moved to Loki’s front to try and pry the sleeves off without hurting him and internally laughed at the makeshift shackles he made for Loki.  He playfully tugged it towards himself, making Loki jump at the sudden assault.

 

“Careful, you brute!  They’re still tender!” Loki shouted out of reflex.

 

Thor just smirked and continued tugging it this way and that way, forcing little ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ out of his brother, who was struggling to keep his hands as safe from harm as possible.  It only took Loki a second to understand what Thor was doing, and he swore to himself that when he had use of his hands Thor would pay it back double.  Loki was starting to break a sweat, and so Thor showed mercy and stopped playing with him.

 

“You… shall pay dearly for that, Thor.” Loki said as he lightly panted.  Who knew keeping your hands from touching things would be so tiring.

 

“I apologize, Loki.  It was probably the only opportunity I would get in a millennia.” Thor chuckled as he got the sleeves off.  He threw the tunic in a corner of the room and went to unlace Loki’s pants.  The pants were loose, except at the ankles, where it hugged them tightly.  “Here, sit on the bed.” Thor told Loki as he guided him to it.

 

“What for?” Loki gulped, but thank the Norns only he himself heard it.

 

“To better get these off.” He explained as Loki sat.

 

Thor pulled Loki’s pants off, quickly and without giving it another thought, and lightly shoved Loki down on the bed.  Loki felt he should be awarded the highest honor in acting, for not only fooling Thor but also almost fooling himself.  It’s a scene right out of one of his fantasies, having Thor shove him on the bed, taking control of the situation, undressing him painfully slow.  He could feel his heart racing faster and a heat gathering low in his belly and between his legs. 

 

He quickly thought of the latest spell he had been working on, a tricky one that it was, for if he went with the flow of the mood he was sure someone was going to spring into action at the wrong moment.

 

Thor took off Loki's socks quickly, throwing them over to where the tunic was. Thor lifted one leg swiftly and easily into the air, held it with one hand and used the other hand to pull the hem of the pants off from Loki’s ankle.  He placed the already naked leg on the floor and did the same action with the other leg, leaving Loki in nothing but his underpants on his bed.  And how he wished Loki were there under different circumstances.  He threw the pants in the pile with the tunic and turned to the bath chamber.

 

“I will be right back, brother.” Thor said, throwing a glance over his shoulder.

 

And so Loki found himself, half naked, on Thor’s bed, unable to defend himself… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I would love to hear what you think on my writing style and the content of the story as well. Actually I'd love to hear anything from you... anything... just talk to me... I'm so lonely.......


	5. Bathe me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does Loki take having Thor give him a bath? Certainly not by keeping his mouth shut.

After a few breaths, Loki had managed to calm himself down enough to sit up and not feel that familiar heat between his legs.  That’s when he noticed that from the bath chambers were emerging millions of tiny bubbles, all bunched up and spewing into the room.

 

“What the—?  Thor!” He called into the chambers, but when no answer came back he got up and walked into the forest of bubbles.

 

He swatted away bubbles here and there, first finding the sink, then the toilet and went on trying to find Thor.

 

“Thor, what in the Nine—?!” Loki yelled, anger beginning to bubble up (no pun intended) in his chest.  “What are all these bubbles doing in your bath?”

 

Thor’s head poked out from the bubbles a few paces away from Loki. “It is what the midgardians call a ‘Bubble Bath’, my brother!”

 

Thor happily made his way to where Loki was, who just noticed Thor was stripped completely nude, settled behind Loki and swiftly pulled Loki’s underpants down.  Out of instinct, Loki went to cover himself, but ended up clashing both his hands together.  The symphony of curse words said that moment would forever bring the biggest smile to Thor’s face whenever he remembered it.

 

* * *

 

Thor’s bathing tub was built into the floor, so it could really be called a bathing pool.  It was circular and big enough to fit ten asgardians comfortably, and had steps that lead into it, which made it easier on Loki.  The pool was already filled to the brim with warm water and soapy bubbles that not only covered it, but also surrounded it.  As Loki descended into the pool, careful not to slip on all the soapy water, he sighed with relief.

 

“Ahhh, thank the Norns.” He exhaled as he felt himself practically melt into the water.  He dipped his entire head under, making his hair float in a halo around his head.  He surfaced and took a deep breath and released it loudly.

 

Thor got in as well, wanting to wash away the stink of battle and dirt and filth.  He decided to wash himself before getting to Loki, who just enjoyed the tepid waters as he waited.

 

While he waited, Loki would steal glances every now and then, eyeing the mass of everything that is Thor.  The way his muscles glistened after running his hands over his arms and chest, the little bubbles that would cling to his body, the tautness of his abs and the drops of water than ran over and through them, the expression Thor made in concentration looking down at his body.  Truly there could be no other word to explain the godliness that is Thor.

 

After Thor was done scrubbing himself, he lathered his hair and dunked his head under the water.  When he resurfaced, he collected the soaps and gels and headed to Loki’s side.  He set them on the edge of the pool and got to work.

 

Loki was showing his back to Thor, but Thor noticed the sneer in his face.

 

“What ails you, brother?  Do your hands hurt?”

 

“What ails me is the fact that you must bathe me.”

 

“Do not you worry, brother.  Our secret is safe with me.” Thor chuckled as he jokingly said so, but Loki still pouted.

 

“Whatever, just hurry up.”

 

“What is truly the matter, Loki?” Thor asked.

 

“None of your business!” Loki hissed.

 

Thor was taken by surprise.  ' _What a childlike response at a time like this.'_   “Do not be childish, brother.  Would you rather have someone you do not know do this for you?”

 

Loki didn’t answer, only pouted even more. 

 

It wasn’t weird for Loki to take on a childish role from time to time, but it always irritated Thor.  Ignoring what was said to him, doing as he liked despite the consequences, giving the silent treatment; it could drive Thor mad.  So he decided to do something risky.

 

“Would you have someone else see you so weak?” Thor asked in a dark, low tone.

 

Loki whipped his head to look back at Thor.  The rage that Loki’s face showed didn’t reflect in his eyes though.  Thor knew he over-stepped his boundaries with that comment and that right now Loki truly did feel fear.  Obviously Thor didn’t say it from his heart, but the fact that he still said it probably stung Loki more than he anticipated.  Thor should apologize but he knows how Loki takes to being found out so easily; an apology meant nothing now.  But Thor would do so regardless.

 

“I am sorry, Loki.  I should have held my tongue and did not.” Thor stared at lightly trembling green eyes, trying to convey his apology as honestly as possible.

 

Loki continued to scowl at him, lightly nodded, and turned to look forward again.  He left his face blank from then on, but the disbelief and betrayal was still fresh and heavy in Loki’s heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Again, anything you'd think I could get better on, please let me know so that I can work on that!!


	6. Not there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Loki can't wash himself and needs Thor to do it for him, but he's being difficult as always. Nothing new to report, really.

They both kept silent, the awkwardness heavy in the air for Thor, and the betrayal fresh in Loki’s veins.

 

“I truly am sorry, Loki.” Thor took a pause and swallowed back his pride. “And for my offense, I am ready to oblige to anything you ask as recompense.”

 

Loki didn’t move at all, and Thor worried that he might not have registered what he just said.  A few minutes had passed before Loki said something.

“I will think of something.” Was all Loki offered.

 

Thor felt a tinge of hope at the response and began lathering Loki’s hair.

 

“Gently!” Loki ordered, tensing at the harsh treatment.

 

“My apologies.”

 

Thor started to massage Loki’s scalp gently, trying to remember how his mom had done for him when they were children.  He remembered she used the tips of the fingers, never her nails, and she went in circular motions.  And so Thor copied what he could, until Loki’s hair was mostly covered in white suds.

 

“Go under the water and hold your breath for a moment.” Thor asked Loki, placing both hands on his shoulders.

 

Loki looked back distrustfully and then sunk under.  While he was under, Thor rubbed the shampoo off of his hair.  He placed both hands under Loki’s armpits to tell him to resurface, which Loki did gracefully.

 

Thor went to get the gel soap when Loki turned around and said “What about the conditioner?”

 

Thor gave Loki a confused look.

 

“You oaf, _your_ hair might be magical,” he said sarcastically “but mine needs to be conditioned so it will stay softer for longer.  Otherwise it gets tangled and knots easily.” He showed Thor his back again.

 

“I did not know you used it.” Thor hesitated, slowly taking the bottle that held the goopy substance.

 

Loki remained silent and ever staring at the water, so Thor decided to take a look at his brother.  His jet-black hair was shiny and dripping, although the tips were starting to stick up a bit.  But he could follow the droplets that slithered off his neck to his back and rejoined in the water.  Thor could only clearly see Loki from the shoulders up, because the pool only reached above the brother’s hips and Loki was currently kneeling to enjoy the bubbly warm water.  Loki kept his arms crossed, but his hands away from his body, his elbows almost meeting in the center of his body.  Thor could almost make out the rest of Loki’s body, when the bubbles weren’t in the way.  He enjoyed what little view he had nevertheless.

 

“Do I just rub it into your hair?” Thor joked, breaking free from his two-second-daydream.

 

“No!” Loki snarled suddenly “If you do that then my hair will get greasier, you tit!  Start from the tips upwards and do not put it on my scalp!”

 

“Peace, brother!  I was jesting!” He said, holding both his hands up.

 

Loki turned around quickly, in embarrassment or assurance, Thor couldn’t tell.  He began by taking the product and gently fingering it between black locks of hair.  Loki’s hair instantly felt silkier and Thor made a mental note to try his hand with the conditioner on his own hair next time he bathed.  He wiped his hands in the water to get any excess product off and went to grab the cleaning gel, again.

 

This time Thor was able to start to lather up his hands. “Where should I start first?  Your neck?” Thor suggested.

 

Loki tensed up a smidge, not entirely prepared for what was coming.  He thought that if he ignored it until the moment came, that maybe he wouldn’t worry about it as much, but it seems he was not wholly correct.  He lightly nodded but remained where he was.

 

Thor put his lathered hands around Loki’s neck in a gentle manner, but Loki could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.  Loki tried his best to keep his cool, but Thor felt the intake of air Loki drew in and how twitchy he became.

 

Thor moved to scrub at the back of Loki’s neck, using the tips of his fingers just like with Loki’s head.  “Relax, brother, I will not harm you.”

 

“Shut up!” Loki frowned as he willed to relax himself.

 

“It is just as when we were children, where we used to wash each other!” Thor assured him.

 

Loki just let out an exasperated growl and went back to concentrating.  Thor tried to remember how it used to go when they were kids, but for some reason the memories always ended with them washing themselves and not each other.  _‘Odd…’_ Thor thought _‘Why was that?’_   He recalled that Loki used to protest when Thor would start washing him.  And it happened when he got to his middle, between his ribs, as if he were sensitive or… ticklish?

 

Thor widened his eyes at the realization.  Loki was ticklish.  Loki was ticklish?  He dared to venture down to Loki’s ribs and started to tickle Loki, who just gave a spasm and a yelp, water sloshing everywhere, before turning around to look at Thor in horror.

 

Loki _was_ ticklish.  Oh, how the tables have turned.

 

“Not… there.” Loki tried to sound as menacing as he could, but his fear was all too real to fool Thor.

 

“Not where, brother?” Thor smirked darkly, and Loki knew he was in deep trouble.  He slowly made his way towards where Loki was.

 

“Now, Thor, you know I am injured—“

 

He was cut off by Thor slapping his hands at either side of Loki, caging him between his own looming body and the edge of the pool.  He took the gel soap from behind Loki and poured it in his hands, lathering them up.  “Exactly, Loki.  Mustn’t make any…”

 

A lathered hand was suddenly on Loki’s shoulder, which gave a small twitch at the contact.

 

“Sudden movements.  You would not want to cause an accident.” The mischievous grin on Thor’s face at the moment rivaled Loki’s own.

 

Loki just froze where he was, keeping his hands in front of his chest and trying to make himself as small as possible.  He swallowed hard and dropped his gaze down to the water, staring at the tiny bubbles, planning.  He should escape while he could because there is no way he is letting Thor get the better of him.  But which route is fastest?  He could submerge himself entirely and try to swim to the steps, but without his hands he’d barely make it out in time.  And with how slippery the surroundings were, he’d never make it out of the chamber without first needing to use his hands to stabilize himself.

 

Thor took the chance to start scrubbing Loki down, now that he was either scheming an escape or he’s given up.  He abruptly put his hands on Loki’s arms and started scrubbing him up and down.  Loki was taken by surprise and protested over and over again, in between laughs that is.

 

“Hahaha! St-Stop—haha—stop it!” He would laugh and threaten and laugh and warn, but Thor ignored him for the better.  Loki tried to keep the thrashing to a minimum, avoiding his hands touching anything that wasn’t air or water.

 

Thor scrubbed white lean arms and armpits, toned shoulders, taut abs and a hard chest; he hugged Loki to get to his back, careful not to crash into his hands.  He even rubbed two plump cheeks and quickly in between, took a breath and ran his hands down Loki’s thighs to his knees. He took the opportunity to grab Loki by the back of his knees and bring one leg into the air, forcing Loki to fall back and into the water.  He scrubbed the leg quickly and did the same thing with Loki’s other leg, lifting it into the air and forcing Loki back into the water.  When he was done with the leg, Loki took in a lungful and let it out noisily.

 

“I believe we are done, brother.” Thor commented flatly, sinking his hands in the water and clearing any soap left on his hands.  “Unless you think you cannot wash yourself in between?”

 

Thor was joking, but he swears he saw rosy pink tint Loki’s cheeks when he mentioned that.  And it wasn’t even the blush that made him stop, but Loki’s eyes.  As if someone had discovered a terrible secret of his.  And Thor found himself thinking… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my mind, the way Thor's bathtub pool thing works is that the water is continually draining, but also filling up at the same time. So when they submerge under water and clean off the soap, it will go down the drain, and not stay floating around. They're not floating in their own filth!! The water gets pumped in clean again and the dirty water goes down the drain.
> 
> Sorry, I just needed to explain this because it was making me sad that you guys didn't know the mechanism behind my dumb idea. ;-;


	7. Brush my hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is worried for his hands, but is grateful that Thor cares.

Thor had gotten out of the pool first, dried himself off and clothed himself in simple loose attire.  He grabbed a new dry towel off the rack where they were kept and went towards the tub.

 

“Come, Loki, or you’ll get sick.” Thor insisted as he opened the towel to cover Loki with it.

 

Loki had been giving Thor a murderous look after the entire ordeal, but complied nonetheless and made the mental note that Thor must pay it back triple.  He slowly made his way up the pool and stood in front of the huge towel.  Thor wrapped the towel around Loki who kept averting his gaze from Thor’s own.  He carefully patted Loki dry, making sure to get under fuzzy armpits, a solid white back, down a lean arm.  Thor was incredibly gentle all throughout, asking Loki if he felt uncomfortable with anything specific, making sure he didn’t tickle him on accident or bump into his hands.

 

After patting him dry and carefully dressing him, Thor followed when Loki went to stand in front of the mirror in Thor’s room.  He inspected his attire from top to bottom, slightly nodding his silent agreement, and went to sit in front of what he presumed was Thor’s vanity.

 

It didn’t even look like a real vanity, covered in old pieces of leather, crumbling rocks, some daggers, and some papers that resembled strategy guides.  

 

“Where are your hair brushes?” Loki asked irritated.

 

“I don’t really have any.” Thor scratched his head and passed a hand through his magically unknotted hair. “When I feel like it’s gotten out of hand I just go to mother and she brushes it for me.”

 

Loki gave him a disbelieving look.

 

“Brush. My. Hair.” Loki ordered, turning to look at himself in the mirror.

 

Thor rolled his eyes at the unneeded drama and just left the room to venture for a hairbrush. “I’ll be back with one quickly.”

 

After Thor left, Loki let out the breath he’d been holding and looked down at his hands.  They hurt less now, but they still hurt.  The warm water helped alleviate the throbbing pain even when he left the bath, but only for so long.  He hadn’t really given it a second thought, how leaving the infirmary could bring so many consequences.  His pride had won him over and so he left, but at what cost really?

 

He let his hands fall to his sides, trying to ignore them but… He was worried now.  What if they really did not heal correctly?  They’re taking longer because the seidr that runs through them has to align itself thread by magical thread, and that takes a bit more time than if it’s just muscle healing itself.  He really can’t do much to help the healing process move along faster.  Even if he stayed still the entire time it wouldn’t be guaranteed that he’d get full use of his hands.  Stupid Thor making him move his hands around so wildly, even though he’d truly been such a sweetheart all this time.  If it really ends up with Loki unable to use his magicks…

 

Loki heard himself sob and was now aware of the tears welling up in his eyes.  He hunched up and tried to calm down, frowning as tears started falling and landing on his lap, and found he couldn’t swallow.  He held back all the sobs that were threatening to escape.  He would allow himself to weep, but not to sob. 

 

Thor came into the room and witnessed a scene he had not seen since his childhood.  Loki looked over sadly at Thor and quickly hid his face from him, hoping Thor might leave and forgotten what he’d seen.  Thor made his way next to where Loki was sitting and kneeled beside him, making himself look up to Loki who just turned his face away.

 

“What is wrong, brother?” Thor asked, true concern in his voice.

 

Loki just shook his head, knowing full well that if he spoke it would come out broken and awful.

 

“Is it something I did?” Thor felt guilty.  Maybe his playing around had been too rough and Loki was actually more hurt than before.

 

But Loki quickly shook his head again, a tiny sob escaping him.  He was shaking all over from holding back his sobs, his hands at his sides careful not to hit anything.

 

“Do you wish to talk about it?” Thor placed a warm hand on Loki’s thigh.

 

Thor’s touch brought calming feelings to Loki, but still not enough to stop weeping.  Loki didn’t shake his head but he also didn’t nod, which left Thor at a standstill.

 

“What should I do to make you stop crying?” Thor was so sincere in his wanting to care for Loki, it was almost driving him mad.   Worry painted Thor’s features. “Or would you just rather cry it out instead?”

 

Loki felt the lump on his throat get bigger and the tears start streaming at a faster rate.  He couldn’t hold it in any longer and just threw himself on Thor’s statuesque form, burying his face between the crook of Thor’s neck and his shoulder, and carefully throwing his arms around him.  He didn’t all out sob, just kept weeping with a few sobs escaping here and there.  Thor just hugged him and gently rubbed Loki’s back, the entirety slowly calming Loki down.

 

It had all come crashing down on Loki.  It had been years since he’d had any type of real physical contact with anybody he cared for.  And the fact that Thor was being so careful around him and so caring about everything and thinking of ways to make Loki feel comfortable.  It was one thing to expect it from his mother, but not from anyone else, and certainly not from Thor.

 

“Don’t worry, Loki.  I am sure you will heal just fine.” Thor reassured him.

 

Loki sobbed once before nodding on Thor’s shoulder.  They stayed like that for a while, Loki weeping and Thor comforting him.  After a while of Thor whispering soothing words and Loki crying on his shoulder, Thor spoke up.

 

“Are you unhappy, Loki?”

 

The meaning behind the question surprised Loki more than the question itself.  He lifted his face and placed his chin on Thor’s shoulder, audibly breathing in and out.  He didn’t answer and Thor didn’t pressure him for one either.  Loki suddenly felt a light tugging at his hair.  Thor was brushing it.

 

Loki felt his heart flutter at the act and furrowed his brows, the tiniest smile present on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, did anyone try to do the hands on the ears thing??????? When I first read that I tried it and I was amazed that you can actually hear a rumbling sound?????????


	8. Massage me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All this emotion is really bringing a lot of tension to Loki, so Thor thinks a massage is due.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so so so so sorry for taking so long updating! I was in Cali and the jet lag has yet to leave me. I tried to finish it as soon as I could.

To feel every little spasm and twitch of Loki’s body, every warm breath on his neck, the dampness of tears falling and staining his tunic; it was something Thor never expected to experience. He knew that some part of the crying was from the fear of his hands not healing, but another part had to be from something else entirely. The way Loki threw himself on Thor, as if he was desperate for that hug. For some contact. 

Thor worried because Loki was usually so aloof about the subject, and not having contact with people seemed like exactly what he wanted. He wondered how long Loki had gone without any actual physical contact. He’d have to at least have some type of physical connection with someone; a maiden he might bed, or someone he fancied, or a fight he might get into. Right?

He didn’t dwell too much on the thought and continued to brush.

Even after Thor was done brushing Loki’s hair, Loki stayed sitting on the floor with his legs between Thor’s and his arms around him. Thor was getting tired of kneeling on the floor, but wasn’t risking moving away just yet. He told himself that he’d endured worse in battle and so this was nothing.

“It is better if you talk about the issues that bother you, Loki. Otherwise you will bottle your feelings up.” Thor wasn’t demanding Loki to do as he said, merely giving him friendly advice. “Mother is an excellent listener and a great advisor, if you ever feel like it.”

Thor felt Loki tense up, his breaths coming slightly quicker than before. “I…” Loki started but didn’t continue.

“It’s fine if you don’t.” Thor said half-heartedly, letting out a sigh while gently rubbing Loki’s back. He still felt tense, and so Thor began giving him a light massage. 

Loki relaxed into it, which encouraged Thor to continue, but the position he was in at the moment was too uncomfortable to do this.

“Why don’t you lay on the bed, brother? I will massage your back for you.”

Loki took a second before asking, “Massage me?” Loki might trust Thor a bit more than others, but he was still wary of trusting in general.

“You are as tense as Volstagg is when they take away the food at the banquets.” Thor got up slowly, helping Loki up as well. The comment earned him a tiny chuckle and Loki made his way to the bed.

Since his attire was so loose Thor didn’t think it necessary to take off Loki’s shirt, it was going to be a light massage anyway. Loki laid face down on the bed, carefully placing his hands palms down next to his head.

Thor sat on the bed right next to Loki, rubbing his hands together and cracking his knuckles, a sound that brought a bit of worry to Loki. It wasn’t the first time Thor massaged someone, often doing it for friends after a hard day of training or to his lady friends who later did something for him. But Thor wasn’t sure how Loki would react and that made him nervous.

“Let me know if I hurt you or you feel uncomfortable, brother. It’s been a while since I’ve done this.” He said as he began to run his hands along Loki’s back.

“That’s not something one wishes to hear at this moment, Thor.” Loki grunted, what with Thor seemingly getting every knot on Loki’s back. “Just remember that you need to be—GENTLE!” He groaned the last word on a specifically tender spot.

“Haha! I apologize, Loki! I’m usually rougher than this, but you are incredibly sensitive.” Thor lessened the pressure but continued kneading Loki’s back. It was riddled with knots everywhere. 

Thor focused on every knot, one by one, until he felt each of them loosen enough. Every now and then Loki would let out a groan when Thor found a particularly nasty knot, which made Thor think things that maybe he shouldn’t be thinking at a moment like this. He couldn’t help it, hearing Loki make such keening and needy noises. And Loki knew he should be keeping those noises from slipping, but the pleasurable sensation of having Thor’s hands on him was too much to bear. How those big hands worked smoothly and gently on his body; really, he was amazed he hadn’t begged Thor to take him right then and there.

It was a while before Thor actually felt Loki’s back go lax, kneading his back and shoulder muscles without much effort. 

“How do you feel, Loki?” Thor asked as he removed his hands.

Loki didn’t answer, which worried Thor for a brief second before noticing that Loki had fallen asleep. Thor felt a bit proud of himself, knowing he was able to put his brother to sleep soundly by merely using his hands. He looked down at Loki's face and removed a lock of hair resting on his cheek, only to have Loki naturally lean into the touch. Thor complied with the silent request and soothingly caressed Loki's cheek, and he wondered when Loki would stop lying to himself and to those around him. 

Denying himself any physical exchange with others and for what reason? 

Thor ventured lower and made his way to Loki's neck, feeling his pulse and the air that he breathed. He closed the gap between his face and Loki's, only to stop barely an inch from his. He suddenly felt Loki's pulse quicken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again for my tardiness. Im not too glad on the outcome of the chapter either. Hopefully the next chapter will make up for it. ;-;


	9. Does he?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both think the other feels the same way they feel for the other. Lots of feely feels for each other. But do they really feel the same way they both feel for each other when the other doesn't know? What? This is confusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically Thor thinks Loki loves him the same way Thor loves Loki, in a not-so-brotherly way, and Loki thinks that Thor loves him the same way Loki loves Thor, also in a not-so-brotherly way. So they're walking on eggshells to see if their assumptions are correct or not.

Thor’s breath ghosted over Loki’s lips, tickling the all-too-sensitive skin.  Loki had closed his eyes after a while, the relaxation taking over his whole body and making him sleepy.  He hadn’t fallen asleep as Thor thought, but he played along in the hopes Thor might leave him be and let him sleep.

 

He did not expect Thor to make this move.

 

Loki’s mind raced with a thousand thoughts a minute.  It was something a lover might do to their significant other.  He knew Thor loved him but not in any way as this.  He knew he loved Thor exactly in that way.  Thor believed him to be asleep and so took the opportunity to do something he’s not able to do when Loki’s awake.  He stopped because he felt his pulse hasten.  He would know he wasn’t actually asleep.

 

Loki suddenly shook awake, lightly panting and struggled slightly to sit up.  Thor sat up instantly, blushing at his own actions, and helped his brother sit up as well. 

 

“Do not tell anyone of that.  Sleeping at odd times gives me odd dreams.” Loki explained as he inconspicuously forced a yawn.

 

So he was having a bad dream?  That would explain the speedy pulse then. 

 

Maybe.

 

Thor wasn’t completely convinced, but he did let it slide for now, considering the circumstances of his actions.  He got off the bed and went to his dresser to get a change of clothes.  It wasn’t that late, but with Loki incapable of doing much he might as well change into sleeping attire and retire for the evening.  If he got hungry he would just get one of the servants to bring him something to eat.

 

“Why are you dressing for sleep?  The sun hasn’t even set yet.” Loki protested from the bed.

 

“What am I to do?  You need me here.” Thor took off his loose shirt as he spoke to Loki.  “And because you are… injured, you cannot do much, right?”  He went to the bathroom to finish changing his underpants, suddenly feeling like he was putting on a show.

 

Loki was barely able to hold back a sneer.  He hated being useless.  He hated it with a passion.  He was amazed he didn’t fully lash out at Sif back in the infirmary.

 

 _‘But that aside, did Thor just do what I think he did?’_ Loki glanced to the bathroom doors.  _‘There’s nothing else he could have been doing.  I felt his breath on my…’_ He softly lifted his fingers to his lips, feeling his own breath on his fingertips and touching his tips to the supple softness.  He brought his hand down carefully, already used to the dull pain in both his hands.

 

Loki felt his heart skip a beat at the thought of Thor actually wanting to kiss him.  It was something he’d fantasized about, but certainly didn’t expect to happen.  Ever.  Did Thor truly feel as Loki did or was he just mocking his baby brother again?  Maybe Thor actually knew he was awake the entire time and was just playing around, hoping to scare his little brother with a mean prank.  Maybe he was just being silly and was giving his brother a peck for old times sake, like they used to do when smaller.  And, anyway, Thor is an open book.  Loki could read him easily enough.  Had he had any thoughts such as those, he would’ve known in an instant… right? 

 

“Loki, what worries you?” Loki looked up at Thor who was suddenly right next to him, wearing a silk tunic and linen underpants.  How long had he been there and why didn’t Loki notice him ‘til just now?  “You seem on the verge of tears again, brother.  Do your hands hurt?”

 

Loki held his breath along with his emotions.  He wasn’t used to this, to having someone ask how he felt, to ask about what worried him, or to have such close proximity, or having someone take care of him, to genuinely care.  It was new and alien and odd, and Loki found himself dumbstruck as to what the next step was.  He didn’t know what to do when offered kindness such as this.  He could lie his way out of it, as he always did, but he didn’t actually want to do it.  He didn’t want to lie to Thor, not today, not now.

 

Thor crouched so he could be eye to eye with Loki, his brows drawn upward in worry.  Loki didn’t like that; to have such a sad look upon his golden face was unjust.  Loki went to caress Thor’s face before Thor stopped him midway.

 

“You’ll hurt your hands.” Thor said simply, gently gripping Loki’s forearm.

 

Loki’s lips became a tight line and his expression was pained.  _‘Why?  Since when do you care so much?’_ He knew Thor cared sometimes, but this was new.  He didn’t want to voice out his thoughts, on the off chance that he might actually start crying again, but Thor guessed the pained expression wasn’t for grabbing his arm.

 

Thor placed a warm hand on Loki’s cheek and slowly rubbed his cheekbone with his thumb.  “You have had a long and tiresome day, you must be exhausted.”  Thor withdrew his hand from Loki’s face and gently placed Loki’s arm back on his lap.  “You can borrow a tunic from me, and I have a pair of underpants you can use as well.”

 

Loki just sadly nodded and sat on the edge of the bed while Thor fetched the change of clothes.

 

He felt like a lost cause.  He didn’t want to be cared for but at the same time he was ravenous for it.  If he continued on as he was, sooner or later he’d lose his mind.  So he did what he was best at.  He lied.  He took comfort in lying to himself and saying that he only wanted it because it was Thor, and the thought calmed him.

 

This kindness, this gentleness, this softness was something Loki didn’t know Thor capable of.

 

“Come, Loki.”  Thor motioned with his hand for Loki to stand up, who complied easily enough.  Thor placed the change of clothes on top of the dresser and started to lift Loki’s overtunic.  When Loki left both his arms down, Thor gazed at Loki to find him looking back in deep thought.  Thor’s heart began to hammer in his chest as he took a small step forward, closing the gap between them.  He wondered if Loki felt the same as he did.

 

They were playing a scary game of chicken, both unsure of how the other felt but knowing full and well how they felt about the other.  Thor knew he loved Loki as more than a brother, and he believed Loki did love Thor as more than a brother as well, but he could be wrong.  So Thor was testing the waters to see if he hooked something.

 

When Thor took another step forward, further closing the space between them, Loki dropped his gaze for a few seconds, his cheeks tinted pink, before looking back at Thor.  It was all Thor needed to know Loki’s true intentions, and his heart fluttered with both joy and terror at the new discovery.

 

So Loki did love him in the same way Thor loved him.  It was exciting to know his feelings could be reciprocated at some point in their lifetimes.  It was scary to know that Loki might never admit to how he really felt.  It’s been centuries since Loki even let someone near him, even more to let Thor place his hands on him, so it terrified Thor that Loki might deny himself those feelings out of fear.

 

But he also knew Loki was sensitive, in the entirety of the word.  He wouldn’t push Loki to admit his feelings; he would only make his own known.

 

He leaned in to whisper at Loki’s ear.  _“Lift your arms, brother.”_

 

It felt as if he whispered the dirtiest and naughtiest command Loki had ever heard.  He couldn’t help all the blood suddenly rushing to his face as Thor straightened up.  But he did as told anyhow and lifted both of his arms.  Thor lifted the loose overtunic up and through Loki’s head, exposing the smooth paleness of his torso.  He carefully took off each sleeve slowly and let the garment fall to their feet.

 

Thor let himself obviously stare at Loki, admiring the small curves of his waist dipping into his hips, his chest raising and falling in rhythm.

 

“Wh-What are you staring at?” Loki was feigning annoyance but was wary of Thor’s actions.  Thor wasn’t the only one wondering how the other felt; Loki was cautious and calculating everything Thor had been doing.  It was obvious he was hinting at it, but Loki asked himself if maybe he was seeing and hearing things.

 

“I’ve never told you what a beautiful body you have.” Thor looked directly at Loki when finishing that sentence, to make a statement, of course.

 

And so Loki got his answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if you got confused with my explanation at the beginning. Again, please let me know of anything you think I can work on and get better at.


	10. Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret sharing between siblings is a must, right?

Loki’s heart almost stopped at the comment. 

 

He stood in place and stared with a confused look at Thor. He needed to process everything that’s happened in the last couple of hours, to make sure he’s not just imagining things.  For being one of the wittiest in Asgard, Loki was also one of the most incredulous, it seems.  He couldn’t believe in all the years and decades and centuries past that Thor would be able to keep a secret from him. 

 

Thor can recognize when Loki’s thinking a thousand thoughts a second, so he took advantage of the moment.  He might not have Loki’s capacity for over-analyzing a lot of things at once, but he does act on instinct.  He placed his hand on the nape of Loki’s neck and leaned down to lay a kiss, sweet and soft.

 

Thor revels in feeling warm and soft lips beneath his own. He can feel the tickle of air coming from Loki’s nose on his face.  And although quite chaste, it makes a heat gather near his loins. He'd always wonder how this exact moment would feel.

 

Loki didn't know where to look or what to do or say, but he couldn't deny how he might have kissed back before abruptly pulling away. 

 

“Wh-What in the Nine?!  Why did you do that?!” Loki was near hysterics by now.

 

Thor just smiled at him and stepped towards where Loki was standing, who in turn stepped back until he reached the bed and sat on it.  Thor stopped in front of him, his enormous figure looming over Loki now.

 

"I'll tell mine secret if you tell me yours, brother." was all Thor would offer at this moment.

 

So he knew?  Well, it has been pretty obvious, but still.  Even though he knew, and he knew Thor knew, and Thor knew he knew Thor knew; Loki couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth.  It’s in his nature, though.  He couldn’t help it.

 

"What secret?  What are you talking about?" He quipped at his brother, feigning ignorance. His voice trembled at the end, giving him away too easily.

 

Thor pushed Loki down on the bed, being as gentle as he could, of course. As Loki moved his hands to his chest, a defense mechanism he seems to be developing, Thor seized both of his forearms and pinned them to the bed, on either side of his head. He crawled on top of Loki, marveling at the beauty of his body as he did.  Even his most angular features looked as if carved from marble, pale white and smooth to the touch.  But Thor could see strong lean muscle flex and relax underneath that white expanse. His chest rising and falling with quicker intervals, his throat when he swallowed down the nerves.

 

"Brother, I may not be as sharp as you are, but that doesn't make me an actual idiot." He lowered his face to his brother's. Loki's breath hitched in anticipation. And the smile Thor had been sporting vanished into taut seriousness.

 

"Do not lie to yourself, Loki."

 

It caught him by surprise.  Again.

 

"If _I_ can figure it out, then it's obvious you know about it already."

 

The brothers stared at each other in silence for a few minutes with nothing but their thoughts and breaths to keep them company. On one hand, Thor didn’t want to force Loki into admitting his feelings, but it’s been centuries of waiting and hiding and hoping.   He knew Loki was an excellent liar, good enough to even fool himself with his own words. The more he thought on it, the more it angered Thor to know Loki might keep lying to himself. With each passing second Loki's façade melted into an ever-knowing scowl, his lips becoming a tight line.

 

Loki felt as though he’d been called a fool.  To his face.  By his oafish brother, no less.  He was about to retaliate when Thor cut him off.

 

“If you are to speak lies then do not speak at all.” Thor ordered, anger present in his command.

 

“I will speak whatever I please!” He growled at him, baring teeth and all.

 

Thor leaned down and planted another kiss.  This time he put all those years of waiting and wanting into it, a growl in the back of his throat threatening to escape. And just like that he pulled back.

 

“What are you doi—hmg?!!”  Another kiss.

 

“Will you stop th—?!” Another kiss.

 

“Thor, st—!” Another kiss.

 

With each remark Loki tried to make, Thor kissed him, not letting him finish the lies he wanted to spew.  Each new kiss got hotter and deeper, Thor slowly working his way to taste Loki on his tongue. It got to the point where Loki’s frustration was enough to almost make him cry about it.  His eyes watered and his words slurred, his breathing more uneven and his cheeks flushed.  It was a sight Thor would be ever thankful to the gods for letting him witness it. He was about to kiss him once more when Loki protested.

 

“Please stop!” He moved his head to the side, little pants escaping his form. Thor stopped on his tracks, a sly smile creeping up.

 

“Are you going to lie?” The condescension in his voice was enough to earn him a dirty look from Loki.

 

“No. Not right now, anyway.” Loki admitted in a mocking matter.

 

Thor felt slight relief at the confession.  He lowered his face to Loki’s again, but this time kissed his cheek tenderly.

 

“I don’t care that it’s wrong.” Thor whispered.

 

Loki sneaked a peek at his brother.  The hurt in Thor’s eyes and facial features struck Loki deep in his heart. He also knew it wasn’t something everyone approved of and that it was wrong.  That was one of the reasons he’d kept it to himself all these years.

 

“I don’t…” Loki started but hesitated to finish.  If he said what he wanted to say, he’d be admitting it to Thor. And himself.

 

Thor kissed his cheek again and let go of his forearms, carefully getting up and standing.  “You don’t have to say anything you don’t want, Loki.  Just don’t lie to yourself.”  He helped Loki up, grabbing him by the arm and lifting him up on the bed.

 

Loki disdainfully withdrew his arm and glared childishly at Thor. Thor rolled his eyes at him. _‘Always has to act out, doesn’t he.’_

 

“You still have to change, brother. Come.” Thor motioned for Loki to follow him back to where they were.  But Loki stayed seating on the bed, hands on his lap and gazing at them.

 

“Giving me the silent treatment won’t get us anywhere.” Thor knelt and picked up the garments he let fall some minutes ago as he spoke.

 

“Why did you give me this information?”

 

Thor froze in place, holding onto the pair of underpants in silence. It was an odd question to ask, seeing all that’s happened.  Thor thought it was obvious why he made his feelings known.  They both knew how the other felt, too.  Was Loki so blind to someone else having feelings for him? He got up and turned to face his brother.

 

Loki’s face was genuine with wonder and confusion.

 

When he looked at Loki it dawned on Thor that maybe it’s not that Loki is blind to it, maybe it’s that he doesn’t know what to do with the information. He’s not really someone you tell your secrets to.  It’s pretty obvious that others don’t place their trust in Loki, considering past events and all.  The point of all this was to show Loki he could trust in Thor, and vice versa.

 

“I wanted you to know how I feel.”

 

Loki looked down at his hands, calculating and processing, and then returned his gaze back to Thor.  He gave a slight nod in comprehension.  Okay, so that part he understood.

 

“And I trust you enough to keep my secret with you.”

 

“But--!” Loki’s fear was genuine for that split second and Thor took notice. He quickly composed himself, gaining that blank slate once more.  “If you gave me such information, I could use it against you.  Do you not know who it is you’re speaking to?”

 

Thor chuckled. “As I just said, I trust you, Loki.”

 

This was definitely a first, at least for some years now. Sharing secrets was something they did as children.  Loki hasn’t had someone else’s trust in decades, maybe centuries.  It’s not something you never forget, but he does remember that once it’s lost, it’s not easy to get back.

 

Loki gazed at his hands once more.  They’re healing faster than he thought, which should be good news. But now, he doesn’t think it’s something Thor really needs to know.  He got up from the bed and went to finally get changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so so so sorry!!! I've been terribly busy these last couple of weeks. I'll be moving to New York soon and have to do all sorts of junk stuff and get ready. 
> 
> Again, any constructive criticism is always welcomed.


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